Random Things with Random People HP Edition
by kahlen369
Summary: ENJOY THE RANDOMNESS! Crack. OOC. Will feature almost all the cast-even obscure ones. Some languange and general stupidity. Even random things deserve reviews---so R&R!
1. Goats, Cliffs and General Madness

RANDOM THINGS WITH RANDOM PEOPLE

Harry Potter Edition

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Random Guy: ONE DAY, GOATS WILL RULES THE WORLD!!!

Voldemort: (shoots killing curse at him) You mean, _**I**_ will rule the world!!!

Random Guy (?): I've got you now, Voldemort!!!!

Voldemort: What the fork??!! (holds up fork)

Drodelbume: It is I, DRODELBUME!!!

Voldemort: (backs away slowly)

Drodelbume: (moves closer to him)

Voldemort: (backs away slowly)

Drodelbume: (moves closer to him)

(continues for some time until they reach the edge of a mysterious cliff)

Voldemort: (looks at edge and realizes he is cornered) D'OH!!!

Drodelbume: What?

Voldemort: Fan Service.

Drodelbume: Now!!!! (points wand at Voldemort) I WUV YOU!!!!! (wand turns into a flower ) (bats eyeslashes suggestively)

Voldemort: (backs away slowly—and falls over the edge)

Drodelbume: GOATS WILL RULE THE WORLD!!!!

Random viewer: Who are you??

Drodelbume: UMERDERBOD!!! –Nah, I'm Dumbledore's evil monkey.

Random Viewer: (back away slowly—and falls over edge)

Umerderbod/evil monkey(???): GOATS WILL RULE THE WORLD!!!!!

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**A/N: Drodeldume and Umerderbod are just "Dumbledore" jumbled up. Also, goats will rule the world.**


	2. Cake, Girls and Cheese, Need I say More?

RANDOM THINGS WITH RANDOM PEOPLE

Harry Potter Edition

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Ron: I like cake.

Harry: I like your sister

Hermione: I like it when you two aren't around.

Ron: I like cheese too.

Bellatrix: I like my master!! (sighs dreamily)

Ron: I still like cake though.

Harry: I still like your sister.

Voldemort: I like it when I kill you!!! AVADA KEDAVRA (points wand at Harry)

Harry: Ahh!!! (drops dead)

Bellatrix: I like my master!! (sighs dreamily)

Voldemort: (looks sadly at Harry's dead body) Now I can't do what I like anymore…

Bellatrix: You can like me now master!!!

Voldemort: …….Why not? J.K. Rowling never said I couldn't LIKE. (carries Bellatrix away…. to play chess)

Ron: I like cheese AND cake!!! I LIKE CHEESECAKE!!!

Hermione: I like it when this story ends.

THE END

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**A/N: Don't worry, Harry will be mysteriously revived for the future chapters. You can stop crying now, crazy fangirls!**


	3. The Great Debate

RANDOM THINGS WITH RANDOM PEOPLE

Harry Potter Edition

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Mcnair: Hamsters are fluffy.

Avery: Really? I always thought they were _cuddly._

Mcnair: Well, all fluffy things are cuddly.

Avery: Ah, but not all cuddly things are fluffy!

Mcnair: (ponders deeply) Hmm.. Good point.

Avery: So hamsters are fluffy AND cuddly.

Mcnair: But their fairly huggable too..

(both are deep in thought)

Author: Hamsters are a lot of things. I'm crazy. :D

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**A/N: Sorry for the short chapter! But the next one will be really long, so this'll even it out a bit.**


	4. Random Bits of Information

RANDOM THINGS WITH RANDOM PEOPLE

Harry Potter Edition

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Author: Today, I want all of you to share something.

Lavender: Milk starts with the letter M.

Dean: The sky is blue.

Hermione: Actually, it can also be red, orange, yellow, purple and a variety of other colors.

Dean: Teacher lied to me!!!

Hermione: All adults are liars. DOWN WITH THE GOVERNMENT!!! KILL DEMOCRACY!! (waves around nazi flag)

Lavender: Flower starts with the letter F.

Dumbledore: I'm gay. (fangirls begin to scream)

Cedric: I'm dead. (fangirls don't care)

McNair: Hamsters are fluffy, cuddly AND huggable.

Avery: Oh!! They're also adorable, you know!

McNair: Good point. Hmm...

Avery: Hmm...

(both are deep in thought)

Voldemort: I'm so good at being bad, I'm a puple flowerpot!!!

Luna: Gnarlers like to buzz around people's brains and make them go mad.

Parvati: The author must be surrounded by them.

Harry: My parents are DEAD!!!!

Everyone: We know!!

Harry: I hate my life!!! I'm so emo!! (cries and arranges hair into horrible hairstyle) (fangirls scream)

Ron: I like cake.

Harry: I hate you all!!! (begins to write emo poetry) (fan girls continue to scream)

Krum: I'm an international Quidditch star!!! (fan girls are silent) (Krum sulks away and plays with his broom)

Lavender: Apple starts with the letter A.

Hermione: DOWN WITH DEMOCRACY!!!! MURDER THE UNICORNS!!!!

Voldemort: Noo!! I like unicorns!!!!!

Everyone: …………

Voldemort: Er… I like to EAT unicorns!!!

Ron: I like to eat cake.

Harry: Mummy!! Daddy!!! (starts cutting himself) (fangirls scontinue to scream)

Bellatrix: I'm crazy.

Everyone: We know.

Bellatrix: I'm crazy SEXY!!

Everyone: (backs away slowly)

Bellatrix: I'm SEXY!!! (starts blasting curses everywhere)

Rodolphus: (is stuck inside a cage) I think you're sexy, honey!!! Can I get some food, now?

Ron: I like cake.

Lavender: Cake starts with a C.

(romantic music starts playing)

Ron: I like cheese too.

Lavender: Cheese also starts with a C.

Ron: I like cheesecake best.

Lavender: That starts with a C too!!

(they start snogging)

Everyone: Ewww..

Harry: No one understands me!! (is being followed by a storm cloud) (fan girls still scream)

Luna: I think I spot some Gnarlers buzzing around your brain. They make people go mad, you know.

Author: I sincerely hope that's true. Why else would I write this story?

(explosions and screams are heard in the background. Harry has started to sing emo songs. Ron and Lavenders snogging has made everyone frigid. Hermione has conquered the world. McNair and Avery are still pondering adjectives for hamsters. Voldemort is playing with unicorns. And everyone agrees Bellatrix is sexy. And the author has got Gnarlers in the brain.)

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**A/N: Do you find this too long? If so should I seperate it into 2 chapters instead? Oh, I expect to be flamed for some bits of this story, so flame away! I'm in flammable!! (yes, I know i realize what i just said)**


	5. Snape Is Cheesy

RANDOM THINGS WITH RANDOM PEOPLE

Harry Potter Edition

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Ron: Bumblebee!

Snape: What?!

Ron: I like cake.

Snape: I hate you.

Ron: You smell like cheese.

Snape: I hate you.

Ron: I like cheese.

Snape: I hate you.

Ron: I'm going to eat you now~!

Snape: (backs away quickly)

Ron: (goes nearer)

Snape: (backs away quickly)

Ron: (goes nearer)

Snape: (holds up duck)

Ron: (stares at duck)

Snape: (throws duck off cliff)

Ron: (jumps off cliff after duck)

Snape: What am I doing with my life?

Author: You do smell like cheese.

Snape: …. (leaves)

Author: I like cheese.

The End

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A/N: I realize that Snape doesn't really hate Ron that much (well.. not as mucha s Harry, anyway) but this is humor... so... **I like cheese.** ^^


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